What time is it?I ask myself in the darkness. Feeling for my cell. Finally grabbing it and pressing a button t see what time it is. Bright light. I squint to see. 5:23am... Laying back down my phone and grunting. Seven more minutes I think...I shut my eyes. I want to sleep forever. Never waking up. I'm so tired of everyone's bullshit any more.
I'm tired of caring,but I do anyway. I curl up towards my pillow. Him invading my thoughts once more.
I wish he'd just go away. He is always on my mind. I hate it. I hate him. Yet..I ache for him to be there in my bed next to me,asleep. To hear him breathing. Having his arm around me while I lay my head on his chest,listening to the steady heart-beat of his.
The light switch makes a noise as my mother makes her way into my room. "Time to get up,squish. 5:30."
I cover my face with my pillow. How dare she interrupt my thoughts? "Squish, get up" she sounds annoyed. I grunt a response,and she leaves. Dressing out from my pjays and into my red jeans and captain America shirt, I head out of my room and into the bathroom before my older sister can get in and hog it.
I do my business, brushing my teeth and applying my ideal make-up. Knocking at the door my sister telling me to get out so she can use the bathroom. I let out a frustrated sigh, and apply the rest of my make-up. Opening the door,and to be pushed out by her.
I utter a cuss word at her and go over to the couch to put on my shoes. My mom, and step-father soon come out of their room dressed and ready for work. Saying their Love yous and good byes to each one of us.
30 minutes pass and its time for me and my older sister to walk to our bus. We leave telling our younger brother to lock up behind us and wake the 2nd younger sister for school. Me and my older sister walk to our stop. Talking for awhile about One direction jokes, and tumblr. Smiling and giving each other ideas to post on our blogs.
We finally make it, waiting about 15 more minutes for the bus to arrive.
It does. 6:45 like always...
I step on right after my sister. Seeing him once more. I swear to myself that you look at me as get on,but I figure it to be only of my imagination for I never look to see if you are. For I fear if we make eye contact... You'll see past my mental walls of self protection, and read me like some book. Which scares me,and annoys me.
We are soon all seated, and the bus driver drives off to the rest of our stops til we make it back towards the high school.
We finally make it to the school,and he is the first one off. As always rushing past everyone. I follow shortly behind him. Running into my guy friend James along the way. Sitting a table away from Sarah, and Shelby. I don't see Autumn. Shes must've not have shown up yet. Sarah looks amazing, as do Shelby as always. I don't say hi because James soon brings out his lights thing. Showing off, and spinning it. Me smiling to hide my bleakness. I reach out to touch the spinning object and hurt myself. Bringing me to my thoughts on fragile we are.
I spy out the window..Ashley, and Turtle, outside as always. I wish to go out side and say hi,but I hate the outside. All the bugs.
More of my friends begin to crowd around my table. I hug everyone them smiling. I love every single one of them. Even though they drive me insane with their bullshit, and fights. I spy him around my friends...Laughing. Oh, I hear it a little bit, but its wonderful.
The bell soon rings and we all hug and head to our classes. I carry throughout the day til 12:05. Lunch time.
I don't bother eating.
I never eat. I head out side. To where on the stage they have a dj. Me,Briana, and Alyssa dancing like weirdo and enjoying ourselves. I see Autumn with some girl walking into the cafeteria. So she is here. I smile a bit and go back to being a goof. Some time later I see him once more. Wearing his hat. Hes heading to his class. He looks depressed. I wish to go give him a hug, but I don't.
The bell rings and we then go to our classes.
At the end of the day. I head to my bus to which I lose my sister...She is usually on before me...She went home early...Sigh. I take our normal seat. Sitting by self. Ignoring his stare. I sit down. Hiding from the rest of the people on the bus...I the hear his voice... "Hey,Cassidy..Why didn't you dress up for Magical Monday?" my heart skips a beat. "My fairy wings are broken" I quickly reply, not looking up at him. "What about your tail...?" "Dunno.." I said. My heart a flutter. I really don't know why he makes me happy, but just doing the littlest of things that get him to pay attention to me.
The bus then starts again and we head to his stop. I watch him as he gets off, looking like a stalker...Why do I even care?
The bus finally gets to my stop and I get off walking home, and getting home...Straight on the computer where I write this...
An average day of mine...